by Athena Baroufi, Patient, 53 years old
Completely by chance, in October 2019, I was faced with lung cancer. A sharp pain in the stomach –one of those difficult moments in the daily life of a mother with three children – led me to our family doctor and then to a series of medical examinations. During a computed tomography scan of the chest, it almost seemed to me that the radiologist’s look became dark. My health’s adventure was just beginning. I shall not forget my doctor’s first comments when he was examining the med results: “Dear Athena, we are on a one-way street.”
The first emotions I felt were a choc and denial.
Panic which I couldn’t accept.
Guilt, fear which made my body num, stress. What would I tell my children? To my mother? I didn’t know if I could share it. I felt like l was losing control of things, drifting away from everybody. I started visiting various therapists and doctors, until a fraternal friend of mine took me by the hand and we visited a pulmonologist-oncologist. A surgery followed, where 1/3 of my right lung was removed as well as the lymph nodes. I woke up in the room and saw behind the protective glass my people crying out of joy. It was an awesome, unforgettable feeling. After the surgery, chemotherapy did not follow due to liver problems.
It’s been a while since then and I get on with my life doing my med exams at regular intervals. I refuse to know anything about cancer. I want it to go away, to disappear. Even after all this time, when the med exam period arrives, it’s the worst period of my life. I’m almost in a panic attack. What kept me going is getting to know FairLife L.C.C. and my participation in the BREATH Psychosocial Support Programme held by the organization. Even the simplest conversation did me good. I was looking forward to the next session and I was lucky enough to come in contact with excellent psychotherapists. They have given me so much.
I’m beginning to introduce the notion of “So what?” in my life, to evaluate the important and discard the non-important. I keep their words in my mind: “Life is a series of arrivals and departures. It’s like a electrocardiogram with its ups and downs. We need to worry when the line is straight.”
For people like me, who live with their anxieties and fears, psychological support is a balm. The BREATH Programme also includes online Pilates sessions, which empower and contribute to mental well-being. We help our bodies, we share our problems, our everyday moments. All this energy motivates me to get up in the morning. FairLife L.C.C. and the partners of the programme have become my people. They reassure me. They rationalize my fears. “It is reasonable to be afraid, Athena! Fear is an ally.” says the mental health counselor. “We are here!” says Korina.
I am now on my way of accepting the new reality. Tension and anger have subsided and given way to trust. Trust in doctors, psychotherapists and in FairLife L.C.C.
As far as smoking is concerned, I would like to say that I have been a heavy smoker for too many years before the diagnosis. Unfortunately, since November 2022 I have restarted smoking but it is my number one priority to visit a smoking cessation clinic that FairLife L.C.C. informed me about. I experience daily the stigma of lung cancer associated with smoking through my guilts. Of course, the society around me also perpetuates it. This is an additional burden to people struggling to gain balance in their lives towards themselves and their families.
The message through my experience is as follows: “Ask for support. There are people. There is also FairLife L.C.C. You just need to express it. Trust your doctors. Be informed. Participate with them in designing treatment. Have a plan.”
Because while some things seem so far away, sometimes they are so close…
March 24th, 2023
